Lesson on Trials

Jupe,

I hope my thoughts here will help, but I’m afraid that my beliefs on mortal trials are hard to accept for some people. I think teaching these doctrines with sensitivity is possible, but the truths can nonetheless be upsetting for those who want to hear of an easier road to heaven. But as Elder Holland preaches, “. . . when we promise to follow the Savior, to walk in His footsteps, and be His disciples, we are promising to go where that divine path leads us. And the path of salvation has always led one way or another through Gethsemane.” https://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/09/lessons-from-liberty-jail?lang=eng

Faith in Christ leads to healing, both physically and spiritually, through acts of Almighty power we call ‘miracles’ because we have no other way of describing them. The reality is that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ all other miracles are made possible. In other words, miracles are the power of the Atonement, enacted through the Priesthood, that manifest themselves in occurrences mortals cannot otherwise explain. The miracle of the Atonement makes possible such impossibilities as being cleansed from sin and the literal healing of physical bodies – or being made whole, both body and spirit.

Faith in Christ, then, is the key that unlocks the power of the Atonement, and therefore the blessings of miracles. “For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith.” Ether 12:12

The phrase “after their faith” has become the solitary lesson that my life-long diagnosis has led me to. It implies a demonstration, or action, wherein we prove our faith in Christ; and in order to prove something, that thing must first be tested or tried. Trials produce humility, and humility faith. Faith in Christ leads to unlocking the power of the Atonement, which leads to miracles and ultimately to the miracle of salvation through overcoming physical and spiritual death.

Therefore, the hard truth of it is whether they be physical or otherwise, trials are at the very core of the Plan of Salvation (the Atonement is itself the single greatest trial in the history of Earth). The problems start when people focus on the reward of the miracle and forget the purpose of the trial. They may ask “If Jesus can heal people physically, why isn’t that happening to me? Why am I not cured? Why must I suffer this way while blind men see and lame men walk?”

One of my personal sources of strength when feeling this way is to search out the trials which proceeded well-known miracles in scriptures. When I do this, it gives me perspective on how things really were (and are) for the Lord’s faithful disciples. A few examples:

·         Nephi’s faith led him and his family to the promised land. But Nephi didn’t simply board a ship and sail towards the blessings. Nephi built the ship himself, was betrayed on it, and was beaten to an inch of his life before the seas calmed and dry land spotted.

·         Alma and Amulek’s faith caused prison walls to tumble, but only after they were imprisoned, starved, smitten, bitten, spit upon and reviled. It was a naked, famished Alma alongside a swollen and bloodied Amulek who miraculously walked out of the rubble as lions among prey.

More difficult to understand are the miracles that seemingly never happen. If the story of the woman with the issue of blood recounted her 12 years of suffering and omitted her faith-filled touch of the Master’s cloak, would not her trial appear worthless? Would Abinadi be pitied instead of praised if the scriptural account ended with his death by fire? We know that the woman was healed and that Abinadi’s mission was successful only because we have the evidences of their faith displayed before us in a few short verses of scripture. Some people who feel that their prayers go unanswered or who feel they have suffered long enough with their burdens simply cannot see the rest of their personal story.

Trials present opportunities in our lives to reach new levels of faith in Jesus Christ. They are difficult to welcome, but understanding their purpose gives a greater hope that at the end of the trial, be it in mortality or in the spirit world, a more-perfected you will appear.

The invitation to take up our cross and follow Christ is the same invitation the Lord has given to all his faithful followers from Adam. It is an invitation walk His path that thereby we may gain His rewards. Those who have accepted this invitation bear the scars of a tried life and the fruit of Eternal Life. In the midst of despair, remain faithful and call upon God in the name of Jesus. Then watch as seas calm, prisons fall, and ailments cease. Be it in this life or the next, the Atonement heals.

My favorite verses in the hymnal:

1. 3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
   For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
   I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
   Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
   Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
2. 4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
   The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
   For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
   And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
   And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
3. 5. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
   My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
   The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
   Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
   Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
4. 1. 
      

No One Told Me . . .

Hello 31 weeks! I had a few people wanting to see a picture of the baby bump so I thought I would oblige. This might be my one pregnancy picture. Jumping in front of a camera isn’t my favorite thing to do at this point.

No one told me how mentally and emotionally difficult this whole weight gaining thing would be. I expected to gain a baby bump; I mean that’s where the baby goes. What I didn’t expect was the baby bump that showed up on my hips and butt as well. What’s up with that?  I feel like I am 15 again and worried that everyone is looking at me saying “Man, Erica really took that whole eating for two thing to heart.” I realize it’s pathetic that a grown woman has reverted back to a high school mentality but it’s the truth. Trying to focus on the little guy inside me and not the number on the scale has been a good lesson for me though. I’ve always stressed about my weight and size and this has forced me to put that on the back burner for now. Another positive is that I have gained much more appreciation for my pre-pregnancy body. At this point I would love to be that size again. Let’s hope I will be there again someday.

No one told me that being pregnant would make me realize how awesome my husband is. If you don’t like hearing someone gush about their spouse then skip to the next paragraph. These last few months have really made me appreciate Carver and it has reminded me once again that I picked the perfect guy for me. He cooked when I was sick, helps me get up off the couch and is always checking to see what I need to feel better. He is constantly reminding me that no I am not the size of a house, and if I happen to get to that point I will still be a very good looking house. I need that reminder on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. He is a patient man. Best of all he is super excited himself for baby boy to arrive. There is something very comforting in knowing your husband is looking forward to being a dad.

Carver has this little ensemble set up in our room, he can't wait to dress up a little cowboy

No one told me that the sleepless nights start before the baby is even here. How is that fair? I am a back sleeper; it’s truly the most comfortable way to sleep. Well, that went out the window weeks ago so I have had to adjust to sleeping on my side. Carver belongs to the school of side sleepers so he doesn’t get my complaining but I just can’t sleep as well on my side.  Add to that the fact that my hands go numb when I sleep and it can make for a rough night. Poor Carver has been startled awake by me flapping my arms all over trying to get some feeling back into my hands. I had to start wearing wrist braces at night just like my mom used to. Lesson learned - don’t laugh at the silly pregnancy things your mom had to do. Now each night before bed I get to suit up like a D.I. superhero or ninja that’s off to fight crime. I realize that once baby is here I still won’t be getting much sleep, but if I can be on my back and retain feeling in my hands then I will be a happy girl.

Ready for a night of fighting crime

No one told me how weird/awesome it would feel to have baby boy moving around inside my belly. Sitting down at night has become one of my favorite things to do. He is most active in the evening so I get to watch my stomach twitch and bounce all over the place. I wish I could see what he was doing in there. The funny thing is that I feel like I know him a little. I haven’t even met him yet and I am already quite attached. It makes me wonder how I will feel when he is actually here. This has really made me think more about Heavenly Father and how much he must love each of us. Comparing how much I love this kid I haven’t even met yet to the love he must have for all his children boggles my mind. It’s a humbling thought and I appreciate the lesson.

People did tell me that the home stretch is the hardest. 31 weeks down and 9 more to go. It seems fast when I think about everything that needs to get done, and slow when I think that things will continue to get more uncomfortable. I told my mom the other day that I couldn’t imagine myself getting any bigger at this point. She just laughed. That is never a good sign. She said, “Just when you think your belly couldn’t possibly stretch anymore, it will.” At least she is honest. But I don’t want baby boy coming until he is ready so I’ll take it. I feel blessed to have this chance to be mother so I’ll take whatever comes. Bring on the stretch marks and swollen ankles!

Christmas comes early!

Merry Christmas! I bring glad tidings of great joy, Carver and I will be having a baby boy in April! I wanted to think of a really cool way to tell people but cute and creative have never been my strengths. So a good old fashioned “Hey guess what we’re pregnant!” will have to do.

Now that I have moved out of the nauseating, lying on the couch and living in the bathroom stage things are quite good. I mean gaining tons of weight isn't really that fun, but I’ll take that over throwing up at this point. I have really come to admire all women who have children, and especially the ones who have multiple children. Have you ever met my mom? Eight kids! Making a little person is really hard and I can’t believe she did it eight times. I’m really grateful for all the great examples I have of women who sacrifice a lot to have children.  I also appreciate them letting me pick their brains and beg for advice.

Baby boy will be joining the family sometime around April 25^th. That means that I am at the halfway point now! The ultrasound was really helpful because it reminded me why I am doing this. I am doing it for that little guy who at this moment is just floating around and hanging out, no idea what he’s in for when he gets to this world. The ultrasound tech told us multiple times in the appointment that we have a very calm baby. If anyone knows my husband than they realize that is definite proof that this is his child. (Not that there was really any question J) Carver is one of the most laid back, easy going people I have ever met and if he has passed that on to our child then I have much to be grateful for.  The tech kept poking and prodding the baby trying to get him to kick so we could see it on the monitor and so I could know what it felt like. But instead of kicking back like anyone in my family would do, he just curled his legs up under his body and moved over. He seemed to be saying “Hey if you don’t leave me alone I’ll just go over here by myself.” Like father like son.

The nurse told me I will have a good six weeks ahead of me before things start to get uncomfortable again. I’m crossing my fingers that maybe it’s a bit longer than that. I do have to be thankful that I am able to feel better and enjoy the holiday season. This may sound pathetic but not being able to enjoy the food and festivities at Christmas time would put a real damper on the holidays. Luckily I can now eat my sugar cookies and drink my hot chocolate without any consequences, until the next weigh-in that is.

We still have 19 weeks to go but I can’t wait to meet this little person. I’m sure the desire will increase as his movements get stronger and I get more uncomfortable. But I’m grateful he’s there and that soon he’ll be a part of our family.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

Carver and I didn't get to spend much time in our new home at first. We threw all our stuff into the house and then took off for a little vacation. Well I did. Carver headed back to Utah to finish up his finals. A strange way to plan things I know but that's how it happened.
So while Carver got to spend another two days in school I got to fly up to Spokane and see my old roommate and friend Mallory Kipp get married! It was awesome to see her again and to see her so happy with her new husband. It was also one the craziest receptions I have ever been to. There was a beautiful set-up in her parents front yard with lights, a dance floor and beautiful tables. Well 20 mins before it started the rain began to poor and the power went out! Everyone rushed stuff inside and instead we ended up having a candlelit reception in the house. It still looked pretty cool and Mallory is so easy going that the night was still a success.

After the wedding Carver met me in Spokane and we took off on a tour of Washington/Northern Idaho. Carver is in love with this area of the country and it was fun to see him pointing out a lot of the places he went to as a kid.

And away we go!

The main reason we took this little road trip was for Carver to do some research. He is writing his senior paper on the Mining Riots of 1892 which took place near Wardner and Wallace Idaho. We spent a lot of time checking out museums, scouring the libraries and touring some of the ghost towns nearby. It was actually pretty fun to see these little towns and the history behind them. Even without the paper Carver loves history and it was fun to roam around and see what we could find.

We had to stop and read every historical marker, apparently he gets it from his grandpa

We even got to take a tour of a gold mine, just to get an idea of how the mining process went and what types of conditions they worked in. Our tour guide was great and it was very informational. Mining would definitely not have been my career of choice if I lived back then, but I guess somebody had to do it!

End of the line at 500 ft under the mountain!

That's some good color there

After the tour they gave us an hour of free gold panning. We are really big nerds and have always wanted to take a gold panning class. They actually offer a class at UVU! This was the perfect opportunity to  see if we have what it takes. The rain that followed us all week had started to pour so I didn't last long, but  Carver was determined to make his fortune.

We had planned on camping along the way, but it ended up raining every day so we decided to check out some of the local accommodations. There were some interesting hotels in those small mining towns. I contemplated bringing in our sleeping bags to sleep on the bed a few times. But they were cheap and it's all about the experience I guess. We did find some awesome restaurants though. Carver and I both really like food and we like trying out new places. One little gem was Frank's Diner. It was made out of an old railway car and the parking lot was completely empty when we pulled up. It was 6:30 p.m. which is prime eating time so I was a little nervous that no one else seemed to want to eat there. I was so wrong, they served some amazing breakfast food and the place was pretty full by the time we left.

Frank here sat right in our booth with us, he was a great dinner guest.

In Lewiston, Idaho, Carver took me to a place called Waffles N' More where I found some of the best looking waffles I have ever seen. It was so hard to decide, but I settled on the Coconut Cream Pie Waffle. The waffle itself tasted like cake, and then it had coconut cream pie filling on top with whipped cream, coconut and coconut syrup. I almost died. It was delicious and I can't wait until we go back. Next time I'm trying the strawberry cheesecake waffle!

In Lewiston we also got to spend time with Grandma Stellmon and Carver's aunts Lorna and Kristi. It's always nice to see family and to see where Carver grew up. Then we headed off to the Lochsa River for Carver to get in some fishing time. Even before we were dating Carver would talk about the Lochsa as one of his favorite places in the world. I was really excited to see this place I have been hearing about for a few years. It did not disappoint. It was so beautiful with thick trees everywhere and the winding river, the rain even made the mountains look great. We will definitely be back.

I'm really thankful for our road trip and for the chance I had to explore my new state of Idaho. Things are going pretty well so far and  I think I'm going to like it.

Happy Happenings

My last post came some time ago. Our internet was pathetic for a few months. Then we packed up our apartment and moved to Idaho, so that has left little time for blogging. Here is a quick slide-showish post on the ins and outs of our little family the past few months.


We went up to the cabin with all the boys for Spring Break. Carver and I decided to get one last snow-shoeing trip in before everything else melted.

Double date! We got together with Ryan and his girlfriend and made t-shirts for their online store Del Sol Apparel. There was a lot of creative juices flowing in that kitchen and things looked great!

In May Carver and I celebrated our one year anniversary!! It has been an amazing year and it is such a joy being married to this guy. We spent the weekend at a condo in Park City, Utah. We watched movies, went to the outlets, and made yellow curry for dinner. Such an awesome weekend!

Carver's new pride and joy, the Cool Daddy deep fryer

Our yummy curry dinner

In June we went camping with some friends in the Uintas. It's always fun being out in the woods with your friends, even if half of them can't seem to smile for a picture.

A boy, a fishing pole, and a great summer morning

In June we went to the Oregon Coast with Carver's family. It was an amazing trip. We spent time sitting on the beach, eating ice cream at the Tillamook ice cream factory, and walking around in the sand. On the way over to Cannon Beach we stopped at this really pretty waterfall. It was beautiful.

We also spent some time getting family pictures, it went pretty well seeing how many people we were working with. Smiles for everyone!

Believe it or not this shot took a really long time to get, a really long time, as in we took a million shots and still didn't have one where we were all jumping at the same time. A big thanks to my sister Becca and her awesome editing skills!

Double date! We hit up a Bees baseball game with Wes and Tiffany. We love baseball!

The annual 24th of July celebration in Mendon, Utah. For some reason I love coming back for this every year, and I love spending time with my family. They set off the fireworks on the softball field so you are super close, I love it!

 Random stop at the cowboy saddle store, this boy loves his western wear.

 Fiesta Days Rodeo! One of our favorite places to go.

It has been a great few months and there has been a lot to be grateful for. We've started a new chapter in Idaho and hopefully I will be better at documenting things!

So I Butchered My Husband

In an effort to be a thrifty and frugal wife I decided it would be a good idea if I started cutting Carver’s hair. I mean really how hard could it be? Obviously people go to school and spend a lot of time practicing this sort of thing, but surely I would be able to pick it up right away. Carver had full confidence in my abilities and was so excited for me to start hacking away at his overgrown mane.

Things started out well enough. I buzzed up the bottom and trimmed around his neck. I cut the top of his hair and then the sides, I was feeling pretty good about my hair-cutting skills, and that's when it all fell apart. There was this ridiculous line around his head that would not go away. I came at it from all angles trying my best to blend the dang thing away, but 45 minutes later it still remained, taunting and reminding me that I was definitely a newbie in the world of husband hair styling.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I had a bit of a meltdown at that point. I mean come on; it should not have been this hard! My friend Heidi showed me how to do it a few months ago, and I watched an entire video on YouTube right before I started, how could I not be a professional at this point? But despite my extensive preparations there sat my husband, wearing a trash bag because we didn't have an actual cape, a chunk missing from the side of his head thanks to my experimental blending techniques, and a bowl cut that any six year old would be proud of.

Ok so it wasn't that bad, but in my frustration I forgot to take an after picture. Luckily our friend Maycee was able to fix it the next day. Carver only had to walk around like a weirdo for 24 hours. I am very grateful first of all for professionals who are good at what that they do.Without professionals everyone who saw Carver would know that the poor guy was being forced to participate in his wife's beautification education. I am also thankful for a husband who’s not too concerned about his looks and was amused rather than annoyed at my first haircut attempt. He is such a good sport and I'm very thankful for that. And suprisingly he’s even willing to let me try again!

I shall call you my squishy

I really do like being married, but one thing I haven't enjoyed has been the post-marriage weight gain. I vowed I wouldn't be one of those people who starts to get a little squishy around the edges just because they are now married. Well I stepped on the scale a little while ago for my annual after holidays assessment and was shocked. Not at the amount gained over the holidays, that was pretty normal, but how much I had gained since getting married. In just eight months of marriage I have become very squishy. I  guess all those times I chose to hang-out with Carver instead of heading to the gym finally caught up with me. Wanting to try all the awesome desserts on my pintrest board probably hasn't helped either. That is why I am really thankful for the health competition the girls and I started at work. We've deemed it our Healthy Quest. You get points every day for healthy behaviors like working out, eating fruits and veggies, going without treats and other stuff like that. It's really given me a wake up call as to how off track I have gotten. It's nice to have other people to do it with as well. I don't see myself as a really competitive person, at least in comparison to the rest of my family, but it does drive you to do more when you see how many points every one else has. I'm excited for the motivation and the changes it will hopefully bring.

Today for church we had stake conference and got to have Elder Ballard there. They said that a stake gets to have a general authority preside over a stake conference about every 25 years! The talks were all really good, but it was wonderful to be able to hear Elder Ballard. I am so grateful to have living apostles and prophets and to be able to hear their words so easily. He talked about making sure that our testimonies are deeply rooted so that as things become worse in the world we are not moved from what we know to be true. He brought a great spirit to the conference and it was a blessing to hear from someone with such a strong and unshakable testimony in Jesus Christ and His gospel.